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4 Days

Powwow

I will love you after the frybread is gone - White Rose Singers

My first experience of American Indian culture came in the mid-nineties when I was living in Arizona. It was during that time that I was spending time on the Salt River Reservation doing some volunteer work. One of the most meaningful experiences of my life happened on that reservation, in a concrete room in the reservation jail, when a Pima Indian named Riley told me a story. I have not forgotten that experience, and still carry the memory of that time on the reservation with me in a special place.

Last week an artist friend who is Native American and teaches art at the Sherman Indian High School in Riverside, an off-reservation boarding high school, let me know that their annual Powwow was happening today. She also let me know that the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community would be participating. So today I went to the Powwow, enjoyed the dancing and singing, and spent time in reflection. I really miss those desert sunsets. Attached are a couple of videos, the first is the White Rose Singers, and the second a clip of the dancing. Enjoy:

Thanks

Today this site had the most hits ever. Nearly 200. Yes, I pay attention. DB is now up over 2,000 hits a month and growing. Thanks for finding, coming back, contributing, judging, misunderstanding, and the words of encouragement. I'm going to keep at it, at least for today.

In celebration, a story for you via Clark Strand..

The Jewish mystic Rebbe Nachman of Breslov once told the story of a king and his prime minister, who was also his good friend. The king told the prime minister, "I see by the stars that everyone who eats from this year's grain harvest is going to go mad. What do you think I should do?"

The prime minister suggested that they set aside a portion of the good grain so that they would not have to eat from the tainted wheat. But the king objected: "If we do that, everyone will be insane but us. They will look at us and say that we are the mad ones. No. What we must do is this. We, shall eat from the tainted grain, but we will each place a sign on our head. I will look at your forehead, and you will look at mine, and when we see the sign, at least we will remember that we are mad."

I see your sign.

6 Days

Edward Steichen - The Flatiron

Origins

From the 1960s onwards, writers such as Michel Foucault, Erving Goffman, R.D. Laing, Thomas Szaz, and Franco Basaglia began to critique routinely accepted practices within psychiatry and the influence of psychiatric understandings within society more generally. Consumer/survivor movements of those who had endured degradations within mental health institutions also began campaigning for change. We had seen a social movement stop a war, and another change the ways women and men relate to each other and life. As people in many different countries became determined to alter the ways in which their societies responded to those in social and emotional distress, this became a passion in Michael's life. And it is this commitment that led to the development of what is now known as narrative therapy. - Cheryl White

Soul Food

Back in action with Mi Familia..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Postmodern Conversations featuring John Winslade, Ph.D.

I'm happy to report that the Narrative Project's next conversation is set. Please join us on Sunday May 1st at my place as we host one of the early pioneers of narrative practice and theory, John Winslade, Ph.D. John will be facilitating a conversation on Mediation and Conflict Resolution From a Narrative Perspective. You will not want to miss this event. Contact me for details. Hope to see you there!

More about John:

John is an Associate Professor at California State University San Bernardino. He also teaches a mediation course at Cal State Dominguez Hills University and at the University of Waterloo in Canada. Until 2003, he was Director of Counselor Education at the University of Waikato in Hamilton, New Zealand. He still returns regularly to New Zealand to work part-time at Waikato University, including a Masters course on mediation in the School of Education. He is a member of the editorial board of the Conflict Resolution Quarterly journal. John has authored four important books in the narrative field. Two of his texts has been written with Gerald Monk, including Narrative mediation: A new approach in conflict resolution (2000, Jossey Bass). Along with Lorraine Hedtke, he is the Co-author of Re-membering Lives: Conversations with the dying and the bereaved (2004, Baywood). He has taught workshops in the USA, Canada, Australia, the UK and Denmark.

 

The Postmodern Executive - A New Approach to Conflict Resolution

I have a new post up over at the OC Metro. It's the first in a series around Narrative Mediation. I refer often to John Winslade and Gerald Monk's writing. I'm also happy to report that John Winslade will be our next speaker at the Postmodern Conversations series on Sunday May 1st. More on that later.

Stories can sometimes have a life of their own. Stories can take people down paths that they would rather not go, often leading to conflict in the workplace. As someone who practices a narrative approach to conflict resolution, it’s my job to take stories seriously...Read More Here

Coffee is for Closers

I spent 20+ years of my life selling (if you count drugs, 30+). I was initially trained by this guy, or someone just like him. I broke accounts large and small, I made a very good living. Then I started a company with two partners, and sold some more. When you're trying to make your own payroll, the pressure gets even stronger. Coffee was for closers, and I drank a lot of coffee. It was a wonderful ride. Then I couldn't pick up the phone anymore.

Now here I am. Trying to build a business again.

Last week Ellie told me I should do one thing a week to market myself. It struck me, that bit of advice. Had I forgotten? Did I lose something in the last couple of years in grad school? I haven't really done much to get the word out about myself. Sure I've told a few friends here and there, and those close to me know what's up, but I also know that there's people out there that think I'm still in school, or have just gone missing.

So yesterday I went to work putting together a little email newsletter letting people know what I was up to, and where I could be found. For as short as it was, it took all day. All my insecurities showed up. I had not expected how hard it would be to ask friends and colleagues to remember me if someone they cared for needed counseling services.

I used to break Fortune 500 accounts for breakfast dammit!

Then I thought about all the things Anne and I hope the Narrative Project can become, all that is possible. Then hit send.

Today I have received wonderful notes back from people I haven't spoken with in sometime. It was nice, and needed.

We can be found HERE.

 

The Higher Education Bubble

I participate in graduation ceremonies in May. I was very fortunate to leave the graduate experience without student debt. But most were not as fortunate. Peter Thiel's belief that it’s fundamentally wrong for a society to pin people’s best hope for a better life on  something that is by definition exclusionary struck a chord. His solution, although controversial, also struck a chord for this high school drop-out. He's right, The idea of the successful drop out has been well documented in technology entrepreneurship circles. Having had both experiences, entrepreneurship and higher education, I believe his idea that entrepreneurship is the panacea for society's ills is equally harmful. Lots to think about here. Good stuff.

The next POP you here will be..

Like the housing bubble, the education bubble is about security and insurance against the future. Both whisper a seductive promise into the ears of worried Americans: Do this and you will be safe. The excesses of both were always excused by a core national belief that no matter what happens in the world, these were the best investments you could make. Housing prices would always go up, and you will always make more money if you are college educated...Read More Here

Huntington Beach Meditation - Redux

I wanted to let everybody know that I will be re-starting the sitting group that meets at my house on Sunday nights. Over the last several weeks I have received a few emails asking about the group, so I thought now was a good time as any to get it going again.

We will meet on Sunday's at 5pm, starting on May 8th. The format will be a little talk about meditation, a sort of "how to" for the beginners, and then a 20/25 minute meditation followed by tea and cookies and conversation.

So if you have been looking to start a meditation practice, have heard about all the benefits of meditation and don't know how to get started, or have been looking for a community to practice with, please come join us and bring a friend. We have plenty of room. Shoot me an email for directions, etc.

We also have a Facebook page for more info. I hope to see you on May 8th!  Following is a few pics from the past group..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Portrait

Tonight I attended the closing reception of Open Dialogues at the HB Art Center. I had the privledge of being included in Gina Genis' project for the show Economy Portraits. I've been a fan of Gena's work since i first was exposed to it at the most recent OsCene show at the Laguna Art Museum curated by Grace Kook Anderson. During the run of the show Gina took portraits of anyone who came into HBAC and asked them the question how has the collapse of the economy affected your life? The portraits were then made into a flag. Attached is a pic of the flag in process and a short vid of Michele trying to find my portrait. 

Breathe

I found myself saying "dark night of the soul" recently. Really? What? How long? What now?

Thank you Ann B. and Cindy D. and Carl and.. This week I needed your words. I'm paying attention.

People are coming out of the woodwork. When I need it most. But its always been that way.

Now this.

There's Nothing to Wait For..

There will come a day, if you’re lucky, when all your greatest futures melt into puddles that you splash around in, fitfully, for awhile until they all dry up and you just stand there, looking dazed and feeling stupid. You’ll wonder how you ever believed in such a thing as the future, much less a beautiful one, and you’ll realize it’s because you’re a complete fucking idiot, just like everyone else, and you’ll almost be able to laugh at yourself, just like everyone else, but not quite yet.  

First, you’ll wake up in the morning and weep. You’ll brush your teeth and weep. You’ll make breakfast, weep, eat, and weep. And you’ll continue to do these things, one by one, with a newly found presence of mind because, of course, your future melted. There is no tomorrow without a gun to your head so you stick to what’s happening. You take a shower, weep, lather, rinse, repeat.

And this won’t be a religious awakening. You won’t feel insightful. You’ll keep returning to your breath, not because returning to your breath will help you make friends and money, but because your breath is the only thing you can bear to think about. It’s how you get by when there’s nothing left to wait for.

But hopelessness engenders fearlessness and one morning you will boldly drink a glass of water without weeping. It will be the only glass of water ever in the world, the first and last, and you’ll know—gulp gulp gulp—what it tastes like to drink a refreshing glass of melted future. You might even smile again. Maybe you’ll smile again. You will probably smile again.

Via

Hold On

Side Job..

So being an unpaid intern, even though I LOVE the work, kind of blows. Lately I've been thinking that I need to re-start my semi-professional poker career that was put on hold due to graduate school. Heck, at one point I was ranked 16,816th in the world, and that was just the rated tourney's I played. I assure you my cash tournament winnings were much larger than that! I have a few Vegas trips planned this year, and hope to re-start my home game soon. (let me know if you want to play) I look forward to getting back to the felt.

Wish me luck. Time to start making some money.

For Those That Do The Work

To The Tender

By Kristen Tracy

Midsummer, and along came a hapless jay —
blue and wobbling — flight feathers nothing more
than pins of white. It arrived at the nest’s edge
unready, which was only half the problem.
Crows perched in the oak across the street, alert,
aware of all the world’s worst secrets. Naturally
I rooted for the jay. Oh, but this was life.
After the blue jay fell from the Scotch pine’s terrible height,
it righted itself in the grass and, like a skin-kneed child
after her first bad spill on a bike, cried out for help.
I set down my rake and shepherded the bird
toward my spindle tree. Hopping from
low branches, it pressed toward the center, tucking itself
into my tree’s sturdy heart. For two days
the parents swooped down to feed it.
Thankfully the crows never came, though
I kept my eye on them. I knew their game.
Pirates. Gangsters. Extortionists. Thieves.
But even if the world is half bad, it remains
half good. While some of us sleep, our hearts
lie open, turned to the tender, dreaming up ways
to thwart the crows. Yes, a hapless jay stumbles
into our lives believing it can fly, and we — knowing
what we know — do what we can to make it so.

Via

"My experience is whatever I agree to attend to."

-William James

Protect & Commit

Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt, but in spite of doubt. | Rollo May

I haven't taken a drink in nearly 18 years. A little over a month ago I found myself walking out of a bar, with the realization that I nearly took a drink. That might not be such a big deal to you, but it was a jarring experience for me. I nearly lost something very precious to me.

Prior to that experience, I had been having an ongoing conversation with a friend around protecting what is important to me. Over the last couple of years I had become increasingly disconnected from several areas of my life that I valued. The experience of selling my company, changing my life completely, and the grind of graduate school had taken its toll, something had to give, I was spent. After the experience in the bar, I made a decision to begin to protect those things that I valued most. This has not been easy, I have had to start saying No, something that never has come easy and has created some disappointment or hurt feelings. The unfortunate part is that I am/was involved in so many great things, none I really want to let go.

One of the things that I value is writing on this blog. It has come to my attention that several people that I really respect have discovered this blog, Stephen Madigan and David Epston to name a few. It has also come to my attention that some posts on this blog have not had great effects on colleagues. The combination of these factors, among others, has begun to make me pay attention to what I'm writing, in a not so great way. I'm beginning to censor myself.

It has always been my goal that this blog be a multiplicity of all the things I'm interested in, and thinking about. This blog is a place for me to sort out the work that I'm doing, what I am reading, and the ordinary and not so ordinary life. Please understand that some days I'm going to be positioned in a different place than you, one day Bruner is going to be my lead guitarist, and I couldn't give a shit what Michel Foulcault thought 45 years ago. The next day I might be happy to join you in a sexy theoretical discussion, and the following day I'd rather try and learn how to get as close to a persons experience as possible. All I ask is that there's room for all of that, and my attempt to make meaning of it. I will try and be transparent about my biases rather than positioned in a place of knowing, but will fail often.

So basically what I'm saying is f*ck it. I'm going to write what I want at the risk of embarrassing myself, professional hazard, causing discomfort, or being "wrong." This is my little slice of space, and I want to keep it safe for me. How I will keep it safe for you is to not name anybody, or personalize any rant. However, I will call bullshit on ideas/discourses/actions that don't line up or are incongruent in my opinion, my opinion only. If they happen to be ideas/discourses/actions you're fond of, sorry in advance but it's not personal. So if you disagree with my brand of narrative therapy, my take on power operations, my personal failures, or anything else posted here, stop reading or better yet Typepad makes it really easy to start your own blog, and Blogger is free! Go for it, start your own blog and sing your song! Heck, you can even post here if you like. The door is open to anyone that wants to contribute, even if it's to tell me off. Just understand I might post some punk rock, or emo song immediately following. Because that's how I roll, when struggling with doubt.

Having said all that I want to be clear that I am excited about what is happening with the narrative community in Orange County. The Narrative Project of OC is now hosting not one, but two consultation groups. Good things, good work and the building of good vision is happening in multiple contexts. With all the changes that are coming in our field, It's an exciting time to be in this work. I hope you will join me for the ride.

AFTA Conference & Presentation

I'm excited to report that I found out today that Dr. Amy Tuttle, Justine White and myself will be presenting at the upcoming American Family Therapy Academy Conference this June in Baltimore. Our topic will be MFTs Impacting Communities and will examine the non-traditional ways in which MFT's are impacting communities, specifically, how they are engaging in critical discourse and are responding to issues of oppression, inequity, and social justice. I've never been to Baltimore and look forward to the conference, which is always superb, and the opportunity to tour the capital.