Dharma Bum

Showing Up..

Ever since I decided to do this little career change I'm going through I decided it was probably in my best interest to get active in some organizations that educate and promote the profession. One (of the many) organizations I participate in is the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. I'm active at the state level but also here in Orange County. Over the last several months I was part of the development team that started a networking district in the OC. Well after several months of planning we finally kicked off our first meeting at the Tustin Ranch Golf Club. We had 90+ people and it was a smashing success. We had a great mix of students (like me!), LMFT's and Psychologists. Even in my business life I have always found value in networking and participating with peers in events such as these, many doors have opened for me just because of my willingness to show up, even when all my insecurities scream to stay home. I look forward to participating in many more. Here's some photos of the event:

Twitter and Positive Overdose

Deepak Chopra: In the cycle of endless renewal, your speck of eternity is inviolate. As we live in our being, none of us ever dies.

Dr. Wayne Dyer: Become a person who refuses to be offended by anyone, anything, or any set of circumstances.

Byron Katie: When they attack you and you notice that you love them with all your heart, your Work is done.

Marianne Williamson: You were not created to be at the effect of lovelessness, in yourself or in others (ACIM). Shine your light, and darkness can't touch you...

These are some recent "tweets" I have received over the last several days from some of the top personalities of the self improvement industry. I have always been a believer in the idea that "thoughts are things" and the more you can get rid of your stinking thinking the better off you are. But lately I have found myself pretty much ignoring these tweets and rethinking why I even follow in the first place. All this positive thinking was getting me down!!

Then I discovered this little article discussing recent research that says that "repeating a positive self-statement backfired: It made them feel worse immediately afterward, rather than better."

Exactly! The longer I have been reading these "tweets" the more I began to realize that something was missing here, all this positivism was missing the mark. From my own experience I can tell you that life is neither black & white, not all black or all white, it is a kind of grey murky color. Anybody that knows me can tell you that in any typical week I will ride a roller-coaster of emotions and feelings from one of knowing my place in the world and having a sense of purpose, to the next day feeling like all is lost and it's just a matter of time before the rock lands on my head.  I think we do people a disservice when we ignore the shadow side of life and pretend it's not there. I also have the experience that it is not my success that people have connected with, although success is important and gives hope, but my struggles have seemed to connect me to more people. My struggles have made me more human.

So that's why I'm going to start mixing my twitter feed with some other stuff to keep it real. Like:

Shit My Dad Says: "You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bullshit."

The Language of Autism

I've been churning on this video since we watched it in class last week. I have a good friend with a child that was recently diagnosed with Autism. I know very little about Autism but I think this video went a long way to changing my perspective. Please spend the time to watch all the way through to the explanation. In the video author's words:

The first part is in my "native language," and then the second part provides a translation, or at least an explanation. This is not a look-at-the-autie gawking freakshow as much as it is a statement about what gets considered thought, intelligence, personhood, language, and communication, and what does not.

The Science of Delayed Gratification

Mind Hacks has a interesting post up about the New Yorker article on the psychology of delayed gratification. From Mind Hacks:

The piece focuses on the work of psychologist Walter Miscible who invented a test for children where they'd be presented with a marshmallow but told they could have two, later on, if they just waited.

It was an early demonstration of the power of temporal discounting - some kids ate the marshmallow, about a third waited and cashed in their patience for bigger rewards - but this wasn't, in itself, particularly earth-shattering news.

What was most surprising was that years later, when Mischel followed up the kids in his experiment, the ones who waited, who could delay their gratification, turned out to be more successful in life - better jobs, better exam results, less drug addiction and so on.

So self control = success. Some day I'll learn to leave the donut alone. New Yorker article can be found here.